Okay, deep breath, I've got a confession to make... I failed at my own #286daychallenge to get me wedding ready. Some of you (mainly family) have asked, and you may have noticed yourself that I have not posted a workout on my social media in a while. I thought it was a great idea at the time, but I had no idea how trying it would be in all aspects of my life. Now, I understand why most challenges are usually only around 30 to 60 days. The goal I had set for myself was most definitely unattainable.
You see, I started the challenge because I was noticing I was getting a little muffin top, which is something I have never had before in my life. I was the girl who had never struggled with weight issues thanks to my parents putting me in dance classes when I was three years old. And until I started traveling back in 2013 after I had left my job dancing for Princess Cruises, I had never stopped. So, when it got to the point I was no longer happy with what I was seeing in the mirror, I thought should do something about it and share it with my followers for accountability.
It started off great and I was feeling the best I had felt in a while. I would religiously post my workout for the day, even if it was five minutes to midnight. I felt a huge obligation to myself and my followers that I had to get it posted that same day or I was afraid that I would disappoint someone and look like a cheat. That's when I realised I had created another problem for myself while I was taking care of the another. Has anyone else ever done that? I was becoming mentally fatigued and stressed out if I had not got my workout in and posted before bed. I started sacrificing family time and snuggles with our fur baby for my social media appearance. It was completely stressing me out to the point I had to say enough is enough. I seriously don't know how some of these Insta-famous people do it.
Around the same time I stopped posting about the challenge, I had started a mindfulness course with Anita Patel, who is one of our local doctors in town. Mindful meditation has always been something I was interested in exploring, but I had no idea how much it could actually change my life. Though it is a constant journey, I have been able to quiet that chatterbox inside my head telling me, "You're a failure, Alyssa," or, "People are looking up to you, what are they going to think of you if you quit?" The immense pressure we put on ourselves is something we as a society need to start addressing. So, rather than working out and posting every day, I began mindfully meditating for 15 minutes.
Mindfulness has certainly helped my anxiety and stress levels on a daily basis. It has improved my communication skills and my patience. And it has taught me gratitude and forgiveness. I have always been a firm believer in eliminating things that don't serve you, but with this social media cloud hanging over my head, it took me a little longer than usual to say "good-bye." With that, if you were following me with the hope I could walk the walk and talk the talk, please forgive me. I hope you too can find your inner peace as I have, and understand that it's okay if you don't get it all done today.